Often, couples know that they want to get divorced, but they still do not go through with it because they’re not sure how it is going to impact the children. Their reluctance isn’t because they think that they can work out their issues — they may not even want to — but because they do not want to put their children in a tough position with their own decisions.
So, is divorce a positive event for the children, or is it a negative event? How will it impact them?
The reality is that it’s complicated. There’s no standard answer for all couples and all families. It really depends on the specifics of the case and the couple’s relationship.
“If there has been lots of conflict in the marriage, the children actually do better if there is a divorce,” said one Ph.D. sociologist. “The dissolution of a home that they thought was stable is an unwelcome and disturbing event in the lives of these offspring.”
As you can see, what really matters is what the children’s home life is like now. If you and your spouse tend to get along and the kids would never expect you to split up, it can really impact their world in a negative way, as they start to question everything. If you and your spouse fight constantly and force them to live in a home with clear problems and conflict, they may be happier if you just end the marriage and give them a better living situation.
No matter what you decide to do, make sure you know exactly what legal steps to take.