Even when you think that getting divorced is the best thing for you and your children, you still know that it is going to be tough on the kids. It's a big change in their young lives. They may struggle to make the adjustment.
If so, here are some ways that you can help them adjust:
- Tell them, repeatedly, that it is not their fault. Children often struggle with guilt, which just makes that transition harder. You must stress that this is your choice and that you still love them more times than you even feel is necessary.
- Try to be consistent and create routines. The more that children feel like life is the same, the better. Stick to the same bedtime routines, for example, and try to be consistent about who picks them up from school.
- Give them your time. Nothing tells a child that you love them more than spending time with them. They'll struggle less with the changes if they get more time with their parents.
- Focus on sharing experiences when you can't be together. Naturally, you may see your kids less after the divorce. There are still ways you can do things "together," though. For instance, some suggest picking books that you and the kids can read in the same week. When you meet back up in person, you can talk about the book, and it's like you had a shared experience even when you weren't together.
Remember, as you look into divorce and all of your legal rights, that you must put your kids first. A skilled family law attorney can help you do this in a respectful and lawfully-appropriate fashion.