Divorce is a painful and emotional process even when both spouses know that it is the best decision for the family. In many cases, adults find a way to cope with being a single parent. For children, it can be much more difficult to cope, especially if the parents continue engaging in negative post-divorce behaviors.
Examples of these negative behaviors typically include arguing over the kids, bad-mouthing the other parent and using children to carry messages between each other. To you and your ex, these behaviors may seem harmless, but chances are, they are affecting your children more than you think they do.
Children want to move forward with their own lives after divorce, and they want to do so knowing that both parents care about their feelings. When you choose to involve your kids with the issues between you and your ex, you run the risk of causing them emotional pain. Below is a brief list of what many kids wish they could say to both of their parents.
- Do not talk about my other parent in a negative way.
- Do not involve me in your financial disagreements or conversations.
- Do not try to keep me away from my other parent.
- Do not force me to choose between you and my other parent.
- Do make your residence feel like home to me.
- Do enjoy your life so that I can enjoy mine.
- Do cultivate a stable and loving home environment.
- Do seek counseling to improve your emotional health when necessary.
Again, divorce is difficult, but when both parents recognize the need to prioritize their children, many of their disputes may suddenly seem insignificant. Listening to the advice your divorce attorney offers can help you anticipate post-divorce issues. In turn, this can motivate you and your co-parent to find a resolution that benefits all members of the family.
Source: iMom.com, "10 Things Kids of Divorce Wish They Could Say to Their Parents," Tammy Daughtry, accessed March 22, 2018