Wouldn't it be wonderful if you were able to have a counseling session with the judge presiding over your divorce? You might be able to find out some tips for achieving the outcome you desire in your case. Unfortunately, this is not possible because your judge is an objective party in all divorces. Speaking so candidly with either spouse would be unethical and wrong.
The good news is that you can hear some of the things your judge might say while communicating with your lawyer. Attorneys and judges share similar knowledge about divorce in general, courtroom conduct and other important family law matters. Following is some advice that a divorce judge might offer if it were permitted.
First impressions matter: How you dress and conduct yourself in court can make a real difference. This does not mean you need fancy outfits or salon haircuts to make a good first impression. It means dressing appropriately and staying on your best behavior.
Avoid unreasonable requests or demands: Divorce is naturally fraught with high emotion, especially if it is contested. Judges encourage spouses to negotiate with one another, but he or she will not appreciate it if either one of you makes unreasonable or outlandish requests.
Show respect to your spouse: Judges do not respond well when spouses behave disrespectfully towards one other. Speaking in general terms, this means you should not speak with disrespect to or about your spouse and you should try to avoid disrespectful body language like eye rolls.
Never assume you know more than your judge: You might know a lot about your relationship, but you do not know as much as a judge does about the legal side of divorce. Never insinuate that your judge does not know what he or she is doing.
Source: Huffington Post, "5 Things Your Divorce Judge Wants to Tell You, But Doesn’t," Jason Levoy, accessed Feb. 08, 2018