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Living as strangers won't work after a divorce if you have kids

Going through a divorce is difficult. The tensions are high. The battle for property and children might have you and your ex wishing you never had to see each other again. If you have children, you shouldn't fall into that mode of thinking.

You and your ex can't live as strangers if you have a child together. You can't just turn your back and run away. Instead, you have to work together and be civil for your child. If you aren't civil, you run the risk of making the situation more stressful for your child.

It is all too easy to believe that if you don't have anything to do with your ex, your life will be better. When you share a child, you and your ex will have to discuss important aspects of your child's life with each other.

If you have primary custody, certain decisions will be yours alone to make, such as the rules of the house when your child is with you. However, other decisions will have to be made together. An example of what you would have to decide together is who will pick up the child and when. If it is your parenting time with your child, will you pick him/her up from school or will your ex bring the child to you? Making those decisions together can make the transition a little easier for your child.

Some decisions, such as when homework will be done, how much time the child can spend in front of the computer, curfew, bedtime, and similar choices might be some you can discuss with your ex. By having consistent rules at both homes, children can feel a little more stability in their lives.

If you and your ex can't come to terms about some of the aspects of your child's life that are vital, you might decide to turn to the court. Knowing your rights can help you if you feel you must exercise that option.

Source: The Huffington Post, "The Worst Divorce Advice I've Ever Heard," Jackie Pilossoph, Sep. 02, 2015

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